This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
