Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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