ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
