I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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