is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
