so explain again why im purple
no
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
