was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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