i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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