My room smells like vodka and shame
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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