please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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