Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she peed on how many people?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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