what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
