Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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