yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
