Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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