what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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