How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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