I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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