Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
