Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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