After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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