We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize