I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
