I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
