i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
