what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
