i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
