Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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