quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
