I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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