I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
