I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
