I have demons in me.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
