I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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