Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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