I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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