I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
