My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I understand Curling. That high.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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