question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
is it fun? or sober?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
