Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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