so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
