I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
