Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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