everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
