Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
