Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
