Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
