i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
