My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
