he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
