They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize