I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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