Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize