I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
