I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
