If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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