Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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