i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
